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What Do You Do With Big Feelings?

Is stress really a bad thing? Well, if you’re Ashley Reid, Founder and CEO of Wellist, you might not think so. Ashley believes that stress is simply your body’s way of giving you the energy to tackle a problem. By reframing the narrative from “I’m frazzled right now” to “I care about this going well,” she gratefully accepts that her body is giving her the energy to connect deeply with herself to solve a problem. She has learned to notice when strong feelings are present and to “metabolize” or process them before they “spill out” onto others, especially those she is close to.

Thrive with Joy in the Center

Long before he became acquainted with the term “connectedness,” Jim Lang sensed a “spirit of connectedness” in the consulting firm he was part of. “[As consultants] we talked about the “house” we wanted to live in,” he recalls. “We were all about culture and values. I think we all acknowledged we were running the business with values as the key steward, as opposed to other dimensions of business growth like strategy or ops excellence.”

1% Is More Than You Think

“I didn’t have any notion about what I had done until I heard the clicks of handcuffs tying my hands behind my back,” says Jon Antonucci about the day his charmed life came to an abrupt halt.

To Be Authentic Accept Yourself

Cees Buisman is a person who gets very real very fast. His realness may be his greatest strength. What he learned from a course on authentic leadership was that he was the most authentic person there, even more than the trainers. “Some people are afraid of me because I am incredibly direct,” he admits. At some point he had to explain to people that this was not because of who they were but who he is. People eventually came to embrace his directness.

Succeeding by Failing

To take the risks necessary to connect with his authentic self in new ways, Adam quit everything in California and drove to New York with, “…my dog, a guitar I couldn’t play and a cowboy hat I looked ridiculous in.”

The Gifts of Psychological Safety

It takes a lot of self-knowledge and inner strength to withstand peer pressure. For Matt, that strength came through the gifts his parents gave him: deep psychological safety, unconditional acceptance and the freedom to be himself. To this day, he prioritizes psychological safety, starting by taking care of himself, for example by exercising, sleeping well and praying.

The Compassionate Overview Effect

There’s something exquisite about experiencing a bird’s-eye view of the world for the first time. When Jill Meyers was 12 years old, a family friend took her for a ride in his private plane and from that moment she knew she was meant to fly. She could hardly wait until she was 17 when she was finally able to get her private pilot’s license. “I was completely enamored,” she remembers.

Help! Which Fork Do I Use?

Debi remembers sitting in the office prior to the dinner learning the basics of using the seven utensils she would find around her plate at the event. “It had nothing to do with the day job,” Debi laughs, “but she took me under her wing to show me things. We had a fork at our dinner table [at home] and maybe a knife but there wasn’t all that other stuff around. She took the time to make me feel comfortable and welcomed.

Committed to Commitments

Robert’s wife recently “voluntold” him he was to be a flag football coach for his kids’ two teams. Right away he said ‘yes, I can do this.’ Then he asked himself, “I have six kids. How can I rearrange my schedule and make this more of a family activity?” With that shift in his mindset toward alignment with his values and away from victimhood, Robert was able to see the possibilities and hold true to his commitment while embracing an opportunity for his family to connect more deeply.

Embrace the Beautiful Struggle

The events of 2020 temporarily dimmed her bright outlook. Vida and her husband Steve were set for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Africa. Vida wanted to connect physically with her roots…to allow her feet to touch the soil of her ancestors and say, “I am here. I returned and I am whole. We want to affirm that your pain is not in vain. Your resilience bore fruit you may not have been able to see.”

Dignity Above All

Valerie is responsible for bringing humanitarian aid to people across the globe who have lost everything to war, famine and/or natural disaster. She observes, “[When] you go to some of these places…they are more giving than we are. They will give you the few things they have.”

Playfully Rewriting Our Stories

Pradeep’s stories make it clear how he grew to appreciate the power of storytelling and fun. As a teenager, he left his family home in South India on a full ride scholarship to pursue his undergraduate degree in Singapore where he did not speak the language or, for that matter, recognize the food.

What’s Deeply Important to You?

“I really can't think of any other long-term reason why we're here on this planet, other than to help each other.”

Image by Gabriel Tovar

It Is Bigger Than Me And We Are Bigger Than It

"There is always something bigger than me... that gives me a part, a place in the space, and humility"

Creating the Safest Table in the Room

“I know I leave myself when I’m worried about what other people think,” she says. Inspired by her insight, she started to listen more deeply to her inner self and live and lead from that more grounded place.

When I was younger, Erica says, "even as a kid, I had an idea that if it would be possible to bring peace to the world, I would do it immediately"

Who are your Mentors

Our mentors are there for us when we want and need that special kind of connection.

When faced with hardship, we have an opportunity dig deep for the strength and courage to do great things.

Choosing Forgiveness

In our last article, “Take Your Eye Off the Ball,” we suggested that the “ball” is an offensive thing that was said or done and that obsessing about it prevents us from taking a wider view of the situation and restoring the connection with ourselves and others. But, what if the offensive thing feels deeply personal? Or, what if the offensive thing came from us and we are awash in fear and shame for having damaged a relationship? How do we return to connectedness then?

The Space Around Failure

When he was 12 years old, John’s family lost everything and found themselves living in a motel for a time. As he transitioned to a new career in real estate, John’s father listened to many motivational programs on tape while driving with his family.

War Shows You Who You Are

Imagine for a moment that your country is invaded by a foreign aggressor. What would you do first? What next? For Ukrainians Yaryna Klyuchkovska, a senior communications expert in Kyiv and Olena Sergeeva, a seasoned facilitator and coach, currently living in Seattle, this is not a theoretical question. This was their reality.

Free Of Fear and Full Of Infinite Play

“When you make things good and bad, you lose energy or gain energy, and you are dependent on external events for your joy, versus joyfully experiencing those events.”

From Isolation and Control to Deep Connectedness

He gave the outward appearance of having it all: a successful career, a beautiful family, and fulfilling community work. Inside, he was lonely, with the real James nowhere to be found – trying to keep the different aspects of his life separate from each other and turning off his true feelings. He became so disconnected from himself that he started seeing the idea of suicide as a comforting way out.

Grace - Being Present to What Is Needed to Thrive

Over time something in Amit began to shift. He began to appreciate beauty in the smallest accomplishments, like taking a walk around the block with one of his sons, recognizing that his other son will not leave the house. Or seeing them work out with a personal trainer, having a dance party or enjoying a plate of spaghetti together. Amit began to open his heart to what was possible and needed now rather than what he wanted. What was needed, he understood, was his deep presence, not his will.

Take Your Eye Off the Ball

The ball is the thing that happened – what was said, the action that may have caused harm. “But aren’t we so much more than the last, worst thing we have said or done?” Toni practices forgiveness – of herself or someone else – to move forward. How? By consciously opening up the aperture to see the rest of what’s going on, off the ball, beyond the offensive thing that was said or done.

Forbes

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ARTICLES

Leadership

Connected Leadership: Breaking The 7-D Denial Spiral

https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbesbusinesscouncil/2025/04/01/connected-leadership-breaking-the-7-d-denial-spiral/?hss_channel=lcp-27064223

Crocodile Growth Leaders Network

Connected Leadership: Tapping Into Divergent Possibilities

The primary function of our nervous system is survival. Therefore, our first impulse when challenged is about survival—physically and emotionally. "How can I get out of this situation unscathed? How can I make it go away as quickly as possible?" I call this survival impulse our "crocodile," signifying the reptilian fight-flight-freeze brain that is hellbent on protecting our sense of safety.

Connected Leadership: Daring To Set The Real Context For Hard Conversations

https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbesbusinesscouncil/2025/01/10/connected-leadership-daring-to-set-the-real-context-for-hard-conversations/

Connected Leadership: Why Making Amends Is Core To Team Effectiveness

“You can’t park here,” the woman said at the car rental. “What?” I replied. “Your colleague told me yesterday I could leave my car here while I pick up my husband from arrivals.” The woman repeated. “You can’t park here. Especially in the mornings; it gets too full here with returning cars for us to accommodate other cars.” I resisted for a bit more and then turned around and parked my car elsewhere.

Connected Leadership: Controlling What You Can In Challenging Times

My previous 10-hour flight had been delayed, the airline had rebooked me to this one and I had run to the gate to make it. In life, and in business, things don't always go according to plan. So, how do we work with challenges, stay connected to what we truly value and not give into our stress reactions?

Connected Leadership: For Better Meetings, Put Connection Before Context Before Content

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2024/07/10/connected-leadership-for-better-meetings-put-connection-before-context-before-content/

Connected Leadership: How To Move Beyond Obsessive Thinking And See The Field

A few years ago, one of my colleagues, let’s call her Mary, told me she was not going to be able to attend an event we had organized. For me, this event was significant. Important prospects and existing clients were going to attend a meeting in which we would unveil a new service offering.

Connected Leadership: Transforming The Judgment Crocodile

On a recent flight, I followed the flight attendant's instructions and put my computer bag underneath the seat in front of me. I watched as another person placed his small backpack in the overhead compartment. I felt triggered. I was about to say something when a little voice inside me convinced me to wait.

Thriving Together In Stormy Weather: Team Connectedness Quotient

What helps leaders and teams grow and perform consistently, especially when challenged? We all know IQ, intelligence quotient, and EQ, emotional quotient. Yet these two intelligences might not be enough to bring about consistent, high performance and growth.

Connected Leadership: Really Knowing You

All generations in the workplace, except baby boomers, have experienced a decline in engagement since 2020, according to a recent Gallup article by Jim Harter, Ph.D.

Connected Leadership: You Are Enough

There is nothing wrong with having goals and aspirations. They help motivate us to focus. It’s when we "become" these goals that I think we lose our deeper mooring. We forget who we are, that we are good enough already—what Walt Whitman once called our "unfailing sufficiency."

What Is The Quality Of Your Attention?

It’s hard to miss. Sitting across from someone who is fully present has a magnetizing effect. We open up. We feel safe, maybe even held. We become more at ease and creative. The gift of our full attention is priceless.

Harvard
Business Review

ARTICLES

What is a Hero's Journey?

A staggering 88% of companies listed in the 1955 Fortune 500 are nowhere to be found in the same list today. They have gone bankrupt, merged, or simply shrunk off the list. Half a century ago, the life expectancy of a firm in the Fortune 500 was around 75 years. Now it’s less than 15 years.

What FDR Knew About Managing Fear in Times of Change

In our work with leaders we’ve found that managing successful transformational change has a lot to do with managing fear. This includes fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of change, or even fear of fear itself. This is especially true when making bold changes — the kind of change that could take an organization to a whole new level of performance, or, out of a paralyzing tailspin. The bolder the change, the bigger the fear, as fear is our resistance to change.

To Win the Civil War, Lincoln Had to Change His Leadership

In our work with leaders, we see that great ones grow themselves and their organizations by deliberately working on three areas

How Companies Escape the Traps of the Past

A staggering 88% of companies listed in the 1955 Fortune 500 are nowhere to be found in the same list today. They have gone bankrupt, merged, or simply shrunk off the list. Half a century ago, the life expectancy of a firm in the Fortune 500 was around 75 years. Now it’s less than 15 years.

From Accountant to Yogi: Making a Radical Career Change

At some point, almost all of us will experience a period of radical professional change. Some of us will seek it out; for others it will feel like an unwelcome intrusion into otherwise stable careers. Either way, we have choices about how we respond to it when it comes.

Other
Articles

Image by Andrew Neel

What does it mean to be a True Leader?

A business leader who leads to truth is willing to question any assumption, and to start from not taking reality as given, but as something to be examined carefully, from multiple angles. That is when innovation happens.” says Andrew Blum, CEO and Managing Partner, The Trium Group. We sat down with him recently to talk about the...[...]

Image by David Clode

Taming Your Seven Crocodiles: Unlearn Fear & Become True Leader

"Are you about to take on an inspiring new role and are looking for inspiration? Or maybe you are looking for a change? Maybe you feel overwhelmed by your to-do-list? Or maybe you are looking to inspire your team to its next level of excellence? Whatever your question is, if you were to have lived twenty-five hundred years ago in ancient Greece you may have taken it to the oracle in Delphi. You would have learned there to 'Know thyself.'

Taming your crocodiles: Tune into Owl FM & learn leadership depth

Michelangelo was once asked how he created the beautiful sculpture of David in Florence. He responded: “I saw an angel in the stone and carved to set it free.” Similarly, when we truly grow as human beings, something beautiful comes to the foreground as we carve away what no longer serves us.

Your career is your hero’s journey: 7 lessons from life

Does life sometimes feel random? You are sitting in your office and remember like it was yesterday playing with your friend in the schoolyard. While you may have children now, you remember being their age and going on your first date. You are at the seeming pinnacle of your career and in a year or two, you’ll retire. “What’s it all for?” you may ask.

Enough! No longer fooled by the money monster

“How much money do you need to feel safe?” is one of the questions in a game called “Confessions.” In today’s world, we equate safety with having money. This is understandable: money buys us a roof over our head, food to eat and the means to buy things and experiences we enjoy. And yet money has become so much more than just a means to an end. It has become an end in and of itself. Money has become a core driver, if not the primary driver of our lives today.

Leadership as Gym – How Microsoft's CMO & a Yoga Entrepreneur See Growth

“Why don’t you do another 20 pull-ups?” my trainer asked this morning as I was on my way out. “Oh no,” I thought. Then I decided to do it any way. Leadership and learning seem to work that way. There is a constant tension between wanting to be comfortable, wanting to walk away from challenge, and knowing in our gut we must do it anyway, to be true to ourselves, as many of us enjoy tapping into deeper sources of strength and wisdom.

Three Box Solution for Sustainable Innovation

“Before you can create, you must forget,” writes Vijay Govindarajan (VG), one of the world’s leading experts on strategy and innovation in his latest book “The Three Box Solution – A Strategy For Leading Innovation.” Why does VG say this and what can we learn from him?

Leading is Growing through Change: Taming the Seven Change Crocodiles

We can see change as an upset that disturbs our comfort. We can also see it as a set up for learning. Yes, we’ve heard this before haven’t we? We can grow through change. But what do we mean by this? What is growth?

Want to Be A Leader? Tame Your Crocodiles and Let the Owls In

Born in the Netherlands and based in the United States, Hylke Faber (46) helps organizations around the world grow their cultures into ones of self-discovery. “Only when you are not driven by your fears can you make choices based on who you really are,” states Faber.

Three Box Leaders Who Inspire Make Others Great - A Conversation with Microsoft's CMO

How can we continuously evolve the way we lead our teams? Innovative leaders know that one way is to evolve themselves first.

Three Box Leaders Serve From Their Station

Three Box Leaders know that great innovation is hard work. They manage the present (Box 1), systematically and selectively forget the past (Box 2) and create a new future (Box 3). And challenges like project failures and delays seem to come at every turn; often times, the bigger the innovation the bigger the obstacles. How do we stay the course?

Innovation & Truth: A Conversation with Trium Group CEO Andrew Blum

“A business leader who leads to truth is willing to question any assumption, and to start from not taking reality as given, but as something to be examined carefully, from multiple angles. That is when innovation happens.” says Andrew Blum, CEO and Managing Partner, The Trium Group.

How Are You Growing Today?

Who am I truly? Will I ever find out? Or is self-discovery an endless road?
I have been intrigued by these questions for as long as I can remember. Looking back over the years, I have noticed how each new insight has evolved not only my inner, but also my external world. New glimpses have shaped my interests, my friends, my livelihood, and where I live, to name a few examples.

True relationships & the myth of ‘good’ and ‘bad’

Think of the colleagues you have meaningful relationships with. There may be quite a few of them. The workplace can be such a beautiful place to find belonging and friendships.

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